Trying to hang herself by her hair

Trying to hang herself by her hair

(After reflecting her sad state of affairs Sita decides to commit suicide by hanging by use of her rope like hair. At that time she saw some good omens.)

That Sita, hearing the intolerable words of the Rakshasa king Ravana, became dejected and sad and shivered like a young she elephant caught in the clutches of a lion. 1

That Sita who was caught between the Rakshasis and hence terrified, being bullied by Ravana’s harsh words started crying like a young girl who has been left in the middle of a solitary forest and started wailing again. 2

Sages say that in this world, you cannot die except at the appointed time. How true the saying is, for in spite of being terrorized like this and in spite of being a sinner, I am kept alive for more than a second. 3

May be my heart which is devoid of pleasures and filled with sorrow is immortal? Because even at this time it is not breaking in to thousand pieces like the peak of a mountain hit by Vajarayudha. 4

I would commit suicide immediately and there would not be any sin for me in this. I should not agree to the desire with intolerable intention of Ravana, like A Brahmin should not teach Vedas to those who are not Dwija. 5

If he who is the chief of the world does not come at this time, the ungentlemanly Ravana would cut all the parts of my body by sharp weapons like an animal caught in the womb is taken out after cutting it in to pieces. 6

Like a thief punished by death and kept in custody finds it difficult even to spend a night, for me who is sorrowful, these two months are very long. Alas what a great sorrow it is.  7

Hey Rama, Hey Lakshmana, Hey Sumithra, Hey mother of Rama, I am filled with sorrow like a boat caught by cyclone in the middle of the sea. 8

Because of me those two sons of the king of men (Dasaratha) should have been killed by the Rakshasa who came there as a deer like two great lions being killed by thunder. 9

Possibly the God of death himself came in the form of a deer and tempted me who is  unlucky and due to this only I parted company with the gentleman Rama who is the elder brother of Lakshmana.  10

Hey Rama who has taken truth as a penance, hey long armed one, hey Rama who is similar to the full moon, hey Rama who is dear to all animals, hey Rama who does only good, are you not knowing that the rakshasas are going to kill me. 11

My conviction that there is no god except you, my patience, my sleeping on the floor, my standing firm on my resolve of doing just actions, and my virtue as a wife, are going to go waste , like the help done to ungrateful people. 12

I being away from you, being famished and thin, being pale and being not at all sure that I would see you again, am not able to see any way to see you, So this just conduct that I have been observing is of no use and also my determination to be with only one husband is also of no use. 13

I desire that at least you should complete the desire of your father strictly, return from the forest and become elated at having being done so, leave out all sorrow at having completed the penance and be relaxed under the careful service of the women. there. 14

(Though women is the word used, commentators feel it only indicates his mothers and other elderly woman.)

 Hey Rama, I have served you with all my mind but at last, having decided to commit suicide, am going to sacrifice my life at last ,being unlucky and having observed meditation and penance without any use. 15

I should have ended my life by poison or by use of a sharp sword but I do not find any one in the palace of Ravana to give me poison or the sword. 16

Thus thinking, wailing , trembling and with a dry throat Sita approached a big flowering tree with the thought of Sri Rama in her mind. 17

Thinking thus in various ways, being extremely upset by sorrow, that Sita took her singly made up hair in her hand and deciding that ”Immediately I am going to hang and die by tying this hair to my throat and travel to the place of the God of death. she who had a with soft and tender body , stood catching the branch of that tree. At that time when continuous thought of Rama and Rama’s brother were passing through the mind of that holy lady, some omens which are not the cause of sorrow, which contribute to strengthening of the mind and which were world famous as indicating good tidings happened to her. 18-20

(Her though process indicates she was not willing to embrace such a sinful way of death, which was unsuitable to the greatness of her family.)

Thus ends the twenty eighth chapter of Sundara Kanda which is in the Ramayana which is the first epic written by Valmiki.